side effects-1
I’ve felt a sense of disorientation with my art work and process over the last few months. I’ve been all but unable to create a personal piece, or even just doodle for the sake of it for going on four or five months, I think. The only time I’ve really been painting at all has been for commissioned work. I feel stunted, in a way. Like I’m in the right river but I’m snagged on something and aren’t moving.
And that makes me really sad. Art has been my whole life. And while, like everyone else, I’ve had the occasional ‘art block’ for a while, this feels different. And I want to be able to do this art thing full time, I want to do it for a living, so something’s gotta give.
I decided the best thing I could do for myself right now was to go right back to the beginning, right back to square one, no matter how pointless or a waste of time it might seem. And just… retread that ground. I’m completely self taught, I’ve never been to art school or taken professional classes, the most I’ve done has been watching YouTube videos. So as a result, I don’t feel like I’ve perfected those foundational principles that are needed to make good and worthwhile art. Which is why I feel so stuck right now, I think.
So that’s why I wanted to start this blog—to keep me accountable, to make sure I’m actually doing the studies and the practice that I say I’m gonna do. And maybe help inspire someone else to do the same; even if you’re a professional already, I’ll always recommend going back to the basics every once in a while to sharpen your skills!
So to start off this week, I did four days of nothing but figure drawing. I used the website ‘Line of Action’ for most of my references, trying to keep my focus on finding the flow and ‘rhythm’ of the body. I spent no longer than 2-3 minutes on each sketch, and while speed wasn’t my focus for this exercise, I want to get my timing down to roughly 30 seconds per sketch.
For most of my other ‘units’ (if you will), I likely won’t be spending more than the allotted days on repeated practice, at least for now. But with my figure sketching, I want to use it as a warm up tool for every next thing I study or work on, in order to keep my lines loose and relaxed, as well as just keep up the consistent practice of the human figure, given that my area of work (right now) is characters.
At first, I wasn’t thrilled about the figure drawing, I’d always found it quite tedious when I was younger. But something I’ve learned in recent years is that I give up too easily when faced with a frustrating task that I’m not immediately good at. I haven’t given myself the grace to be bad at it, or to be a beginner. And I think that’s something that a lot of people struggle with, whether pertaining to art or not. We struggle to accept that it’s gonna be really annoying and frustrating and difficult, and still do it anyway. We’re not very good at pushing through things that we aren’t enjoying, especially if it’s something we’re doing of our own volition (there’s no incentive, like being paid for it). But that’s just what comes with learning a new skill. Exploration and experimentation takes practice—and it’s through making those mistakes that we actually learn.
My other biggest hurdle with my art is this preconceived idea that everything I drew, whether a professional piece or not, had to look really good. Even just sketching had to look good, in my eyes. And the more I think about it, the more I believe that’s been one of the most limiting, self-sabotaging ideas I’ve had. And it ties back to not being able to let myself be a beginner. Whatever I was practicing had to look pretty and well done straight off the bat, or else I was bad at it, it wasn’t worth my time, and if anyone saw just how bad my art was, I was gonna be so embarrassed. And that makes me really sad to think about. I wouldn’t treat someone else that was learning something new like that, so why did I feel I could treat myself that way? As a chronic perfectionist, I don’t believe perfectionism has a place in art. It’s what keeps so many people who want to learn to draw from even starting. And it’s a terrible mindset to have. I don’t remember where I first heard this saying, but whenever I catch myself having a bit of a perfectionist moment, I tell myself, ‘no matter how beautiful it is, it’s just a side effect of the process of learning.’ And it’s already been a huge help.
Ignore how not ‘aesthetically pleasing’ it is to look at, and just let yourself practice.
